Ugly Broads Proven Ugly By Computer Science And Your Husband Is Definitely Cheating On You
Whew! It's a bad day to be human. If you're not finding dead rats in your loafers (which may or may not be light) as a practical joke, there's a good chance your computer is calling you ugly or that your husband is, indeed, banging that waitress from the coffee shop downtown.
First things first: an Israeli team of shallow sexists scientists have developed software that ranks the facial attractiveness of women. Basically, the program "learns" beauty through human judgment and applies it--geometrically, mathematically, via colors, shapes and brooding brows--to anyone willing to get their photo snapped.
While this is a major breakthrough for artificial intelligence and facial mapping software, it's a little on the punishing side. If the human judges deem you hideous to behold, your repulsiveness becomes a comparison point against others.
The software also hasn't learned to judge attractiveness in men. Either we're too pretty and complex for your stinkin' machines or, because men made that software, we're too insecure to play Russian roulette with our self-esteems.
Find out how your one-and-only is creeping behind your back after the jump.
Facebook, the blessed grail of stalkers everywhere, has taken it to the next level: "sniffing." No, not the curious dog kind of sniffing, nor the Elmer's glue kind either, but an electronic coordinate mapping system that'll keep track of your loved ones.
The acronym is hilarious: Social Network Integrated Friend Finder. Friend? Not for long!
"Sniffing" works through similar technology used by the police to track down suspected terrorists or missing children via their mobile phones. The phone sends a signal to nearby base stations. Positioning software performs a triangulation calculation on the information from the base stations and converts it into a geographical location.
Said geographical location is then sent to the user's cellphone via text message. Useful Networks, the company behind this eye-opening software of sin, charges 75p (or roughly $1.50 USD, depending on the severity of our recession) for each "sniff," thereby becoming the first Facebook application to charge your mobile bill.
Of course, sniffing can only be used with the permission of the sniffed. But a little passive manipulation will take care of that for ya. Stalk on!
So, dear readers, am I being too paranoid? Or is this indeed a Brave New World?
Women's Attractiveness Judged By Software [Roland Piquepaille's Technology Trends]
[via: Slashdot]
The Facebook Tool Which Turns Your Mobile Into A Snoop [London Times]
NeonMadman
Posted to In the News, In the World, On Your Body on 1 April 2008
· Comments (3)
Other stuff like this: artificial intelligence, face recognition, Facebook, stalking, ugly, Useful Networks
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You don't sniff Elmer's glue, silly, you eat it.
You sniff model airplane glue. And permanent markers. And gasoline. And spray paint. And aerosol air fresheners. And canned whipped cream.
"say whip"... "now say cool whip"...
Actually, you huff that stuff, but that's neither here nor there.
wait wait... are we having a "well, actually..." discussion on substance abuse methods?
.... *sobs* ...
;)