On Your Body
There are many times that I wish I had just a little bit more brain power. Like now, for example, as I prepare for my GMAT. Just a little bit more thinking juice to help me score well could spell the difference between Northwestern and some other random program. After some searching, it looks like I may have a solution, a way to boost my thinking to the next level, and even better, I don't really have to do anything! Except wear a hat...
So this hat uses a system of magnets that reinforces my left brain functionality while stifiling my right brain. This, apparently, will increase my creativity and memory, so I can think "outside of the box" more regularly and apparantly I'll do better at everything, because I'll be a savant. I'll be smart one day! Damn anyone that says otherwise!
'Thinking Cap' turns you into a genius [DVICE]
[via: Geekologie]
I'm really not sure where to go with this one. First, we have probably the finest example of failed Marketing Research I've seen in a very long time. These sandals were born out of the idea that people in England have said they would like to feel more connected with the earth. Out of that idea, some designer made the "logical" leap to create a sandal that is covered in for reals living grass. Nice job analyzing data and offering relative solutions, douche bags. Somebody at that marketing firm really needs to take the weed out of the employee break room.
Second, this is shoe that you need to water and provide the appropriate amount of sunlight for. Shoes + water + sun bathing = really bad idea? Maybe.
Finally, it's from Krispy Kreme?! Now I know for sure that someone needs to get shot over this idea. Actually, a lot of someones. The idiot marketing manager at Krispy Kreme that thought that understanding people's connections to the world would sell more donuts. The pot-head project lead that allowed the research to lead them down this horribly misguided path and actually let the product recommendation leave the office. The bumbling executive team at Krispy Kreme that signed off on the final implementation. AND the manufacturer, for good measure.
I would link to the product page, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Besides, more traffic at the site would mean they might not be able to process my order in time.
Yummy!: Krispy Kreme Makes Grass Sandals [Geekologie]
There's an old theory that if something is a popular idea within the Sci-Fi world, then it will eventually come to fruition in the real world. I have no idea of the reality of this theory, but what I do know is that if I had the ability to make some cool stuff like lasers and holographic communications, I sure as hell would! Apparently, I'm not the only person that thinks like that either, as a couple research teams have unveiled new "invisibility cloak" ideas in recent days.
Both devices focus on using extremely small material threaded in such a way that even smaller holes exist in the material. The material is 10,000 times smaller than a human hair and the holes in the "fabric" are so small that light waves simply bend around material. In each case, light waves were effectively bent around the materials, providing a magic-esque disappearing act. And now I'm moist.
While the obvious military and possibly dubious personal uses come to mind, the research teams pointed out that this same tech could be used in cameras to reduce light glare and in cell phones to minimize electronic noise and improve call quality and reception. Yeah… while that sounds great and all, can we just skip directly to the personal use invisibility cloak please? The Chicago Cubs locker room has been calling my name for a while now, and try as I might, I've been unsuccessful at just waltzing in, so I'd appreciate a quick to market solution please. Thanks, I'd appreciate it.
Two improved invisibility devices show themselves [Yahoo! News]
Now this news will certainly cause some people's heart to skip a beat, or stop altogether: a group of white-hat hackers at Defcon have figured out a way to remotely disable wirelessly controlled pacemakers from five different companies.
By reverse engineering the pacemaker's design, and armed with a $1000 rig featuring software radios and GNU control software, the researchers were able to access a test mode in the pacemakers and get patient data, as well as change the therapy parameters, and drain the batteries - all wirelessly.
The reason this is all possible? The pacemakers don't use cryptography keys to secure the wireless connection with their control computers (which are often worn outside the patient's body and control the specific therapy the patient needs, obviating the need for wires.) This essentially means the pacemakers are wide open to attack by anyone with the correct software and radio transmitter.
Thankfully, the good guys figured out this attack vector, so there's no immediate fear for pacemaker users out there. However, this raises some serious questions about wireless medical device security that need to be addressed.
The pacemakers which are affected by this particular flaw are said to be in about 2.6 million patients who've had a pacemaker installed between 1990 and 2002.
Defcon: Excuse me while I turn off your pacemaker [VentureBeat]
Now this is cool: to solve the problem of getting corrective eyeglasses to those in need in the developing world, the Adaptive Eyewear project has developed a pair of fluid-filled eyeglasses whose prescription can be tailored by the end user!
The same glasses can be distributed to thousands of people, and the end user can adjust the amount of fluid in the glasses until they can see clearly, seal the glasses, and voilà! - instant pair of custom prescription glasses!
Awesome.
Project Page [Adaptive Eyewear]
[via: BBG]
Jetpacks are coming along. Everyone in awhile, we see a video of a prototype, and we get a bit excited, but nothing really happens from there. Well, here's another video, but this one seems a bit more realistic than others, mainly because the company has put a price tag on them and intends to sell them to the public... for $100,000.
The video is a bit underwhelming, in my opinion, if only because they never let the man go. The two dudes hold the sides and stabilize it the whole time. But they are saying that you should be able to take off and float around for a good 30 minutes. Not really a travel replacement, the Martin Jetpack should make a fun addition to the Homotron collection of gizmos (ain't that right, Tiny? I know y'all are just dieing to spend $100,000 on a jetpack for us! I promise I won't use this one to spy on my exes... it's not my fault if they just happen to be somewhere within a 50-mile radius of me...)
Martin Jetpack officially unveiled, lifts off on video [Engadget]
It's true. Den Den is a bit of a Mac fanboy, and I have a tendency to be a Microsoft junkie, but neither of us are ridiculously stupid of the mind that tattoo-ing our favored companies logos on us is a good idea. But hey, maybe that's just the gay in me saying that a bad tattoo is just that: a bad tattoo!
Don't get me wrong, I loves me some tattoos… just not these. If you see any of these on the street, do me a favor. Wait, two favors. 1) Take a picture and email it to me. 2) Point and laugh.
More Geek Tattoos That I Would Never Get [Geekologie]
Remember that time you chugged Jager for 6 hours straight and were tossed in the pool bareass naked by your friends and then when you regained semi-consciousness you totally made out with that fat old man? Of course you don't; you were shitfaced! But your friends kept snapping your picture and now it's all over the Internet, you dirty bird.
So how are we supposed to get our jollies in the bright sun with fat old men amongst the likes of sites like Facebook blowing your spot? Why, Black Bars Sunglasses, of course!
Yessir, now you too can behave like a reckless anti-social jackass, get your picture taken, and not have to worry (too much) about repercussions. Your mother will never ever find out!
Pick up a pair and look super-duper cool. They're only $10: roughly the price of your dignity.
[Product Page]
Jeff Taylor, founder of Monster.com, knows a good opportunity when he sees it. When he started Monster.com fourteen years ago, it was all sorts of awesome and gave typical newspaper classifieds a run for their money. Then along came Craig's List (I refuse to write "craigslist" ... except for right then) and knocked Taylor's britches off.
So Taylor took a look out the window and thought, What's the next commodity? Why death of course!
All you baby boomers out there are falling and not getting up, and all us dutiful young 'uns pick up the pieces, type out a few words, and post them on Tributes.com. The site—which I barely checked out due to a crippling fear of extinction—even shows glossy, hip obits from celebrities! Because we all like re-reading the death cries of famous movie stars!
But what if your grandchildren hate your guts because you extinguished cigarettes on their arms and made them fetch you beers in their diapers at 14-years-old? Tributes.com will glean information "through alliances with funeral homes and groups directly as well as trade associations and public information about deaths from Social Security..."
To answer your question, your grandchildren are rotten shits anyway, and a ghostly floating website will write you up for you.
Monster founder sets sights on online obituaries [AP]
If you've ever harboured fantasies of Sam Fischer role play from Splinter Cell, toymakers Jakks have you covered with the new Night Vision Eyeclops coming this fall.
A little more advanced than your average toy, these goggles aren't your cheap green flash light kind - they actually sport an infrared camera with infrared light sources, giving these goggles a night vision range of 50 feet.
The price for fulfilling your (our your partner's) fantasies of being Sam Fischer? $79.99
I'm not *that* much of a Splinter Cell fan...
Jakks Eyeclops: Night Vision Coming Soon [Gearlog]
Ever since Austin Powers' Dr. Evil failed to receive his sharks with head-mounted laser beams, the prospect of shooting red rays from my cabeza has haunted me like a bad idea bent on being born into the world.
Luckily, the insane people at Brando seem to have been similarly haunted, as they've just released a $90 Bluetooth headset that combines both a laser pointer and an LED flashlight. Yay:
The ultra-compact design incorporates practical features of headset, laser pointer, remotely scrolling of PC presentation and LED flashlight. The laser pointer can be used standalone. Having paired the BluePOINTER with a HID profile-supported PC, you can remotely scroll your PC presentation. The ultra-bright LED flashlight is a bonus unique feature.
What, the thought of whipping your head around like a gun turret during business presentations doesn't appeal to you? Sounds like a great way to make a fool of yourself, you say? Well I couldn't agree more.
But dig, if you will, this picture: You're standing alone on a platform at your favorite dance club. You're shirtless, sweaty, and fabulous. Fog machines are pouring mist into a room crowded with gay men rubbing up against each other in time to the music. Everyone's looking for that certain someone. Then, against all odds, you whip out your Brando Bluetooth Laser Thingy and pow, all eyes are on the techno-hottie with the searingly powerful laser ear-dongle. You're going home with Mr. Right and you feel like a million bucks.
Or, alternatively, you feel like a Borg drone.
[Product Page via GeekAlerts]
Gadget4All's "USB Bullet-like LED Speaker" is, to be fair, described as "bullet-like," one order of metaphorical magnitude away from being actual bullets and just vague enough to look like a wonderful evening for you and up to two boyfriends. (I wonder: do they sell a party pack?)
Now in order for me to avoid typing something truly vulgar, let's look at the retailer's plug:
USB Bullet-like LED Speaker allows you to enjoy the fantastic music!! Its dual speaker design offers a good quality sound effect. The colorful rainbow LED will flash when the song is playing and it is very nice to listen to your favorite music at night.
Well, that was quite a plug, don't you think? And yet... somehow not as "plug-like" as the speakers themselves. It's a conundrum, innit?
I suppose that if you use these fellas while they're wired, the speaker parts might actually make the units vibrate in time to your por... uh, to your entertainment selection. But does that make them vibrators? I rather think that depends on the ampage of speakers themselves...
[Product Page via GeekAlerts]
And girls who like girls who like fembots!
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